Sunday, April 11, 2010
OK, this article is only for control freak parents. Take this brief (and obviously unscientific) “yes or no” quiz to determine your P.C.Q. (parenting control quotient):
1. You not only cut up your teen’s steak for them, but you number it as well.
2. You throw a temper tantrum when any school activity time is changed.
3. You check your teen’s Facebook page over 100 times daily.
4. You sit on the couch and heckle that sloppy Martha Stewart Show.
5. You promise you wouldn’t correct your teen’s breathing if they weren’t doing it all wrong.
6. You get upset when your teen scores less than 100% on the assignment you did for him.
7. You get more technical fouls that any coach or player and you’re not even on the team.
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, read on. If you answered “no” to all of them, then call me. I need your advice!
The test is obviously a joke, but I’m more and more convinced that we all have control issues. I think it’s inherent in each of us to want to want the upper hand in every situation. Pride is alive and well in each of us and we naturally bring that issue into our parenting. Some are more overt and others are more covert, but we all want our kids to succeed and we’re inclined to help produce that result when we can.
Here’s the simple problem: we are not God, but we attempt to calculate it all out as though we were. We fill the blackboard with every possible scenario under the guise that we’ve got it predicted and controlled, but we’re not even close.
Our loving God chuckles as he continues on his course in the life of our children. He loves our kids so much that he engineers circumstances to produce humility and brokenness in their lives. Why? God wants them to hopefully acknowledge who He is and rest in His peace. It’s the ultimate tough love and that can't be predicted in a formula on a blackboard, no matter how much we try to control the environment around us.
So, put down that calculator and teach your kids how to cut their own steak. Relax and let them fail and succeed. Remember, you’re preparing them for life and they’re prepared best when they’re submitting to the ultimate controller: the loving God of Eternity!©